Ask the Neighbor Lady

Neighbor Lady: Limiting Screen-Time for Kids

Neighbor Lady on kids' addictions to screen-time, and the importance of teaching them to live real lives.

Dear Neighbor Lady, My kids have all sizes of screens available to them. They watch big TV screens, small screens on iPhones (that they swipe from my husband and me) and medium screens on obnoxious “learning games” toys given them by my parents and others. Learning? Ya right! More like stultifying and deadening. And how do I keep all this texting in check? Or is that a losing battle? Screened-out Dear Screened-out, Lordy how times have changed. While technology is novel every single day, it is not really a novelty anymore. Screens are everywhere, and I know my kids expect me to fork it over. You should see the way my four-year-old huffs and puffs when I put an end to any particular screen session!  We have an approach in our house. Screens…

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Neighbor Lady: Land of the Free, to Be Messy

In Somerville, eye-sore neighborhood buildings come with the territory.

"Dear Neighbor Lady, How do I get my neighbor to remove all the crap from his porch? There's a ripped-up old couch, a rusty dorm-room-sized refrigerator, some beach chairs and children's beach toys from the mid-1990s and some random pieces of lumber. It's like a miniature dump out there. It would be one thing if my neighbor sat on the couch and used all that stuff, but he doesn't. It just sits there. Maybe he doesn't have storage space in the basement, or something, but I kind of don't care. Also, how do I get him to paint his building? Sincerely,  Eyes are sore Dear Sore Eyes, You’ve heard the anthem: “…in the land of the free and the home of the brave.” I suppose, with my hand over my heart, your neighbor is free to be as untidy as he …

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Neighbor Lady: Staying Chill When an Ex Moves Next Door

Neighbor Lady offers some perspective to a woman when her old flame moves into an apartment next door.

Dear Neighbor Lady, My ex-boyfriend just moved into an apartment three doors down from my apartment. I saw him moving in at the end of August, but as far as I know he hasn't seen me yet, and I don't think he realizes he moved in next to me. Of all the apartments in Somerville, why did the apartment gods have to move him onto my block? We dated for almost three years, but we haven't been in touch—other than occasionally on Facebook—for over two years. I think we've both "moved on," but it was kind of an emotionally messy breakup. What should I do? I'll run into him one day, and I'm sure it will be awkward. Should I proactively say hi? Should I ignore him and try to avoid him? Should I move to Jamaica Plain? Sincerely, Putting the ex in nEXt…

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Neighbor Lady: When Children Speak the Rude Truth

When a woman's young daughter boisterously points out a neighbors wig, Neighbor Lady swoops in to clean up the mess.

Dear Neighbor Lady, My elderly auxiliary policewoman/neighbor isn't speaking to me anymore! She recently had a problem with a home hair dye job that went awry. She let us know why she was wearing bandages on her acid-burned hands in a very embarrassed manner, but wore a head scarf so we didn't see the extent of the problem.  However, one day last week, she tried a new cover-up and our three-year-old daughter loudly inquired, "Mom, why does she have on that crazy wig?"  We love our neighbor, but she is too embarrassed to answer the door now!  What do we do? —What’s a Crazy Wig Between Neighbors? Dear What’s a Wig, What is this wig indeed? To your neighbor, it sounds like it is just about everything. It is—or should I say it was—her …

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Neighbor Lady Encourages Dog to do Business Elsewhere

There's no need for diplomatic neighborly interaction this week; Neighbor Lady gets stealthy when a dog finds someone's property a little too attractive.

Dear Neighbor Lady, A neighbor from a few doors down walks his dog down the street every evening, and at least three or four times a week his dog relieves itself on our front patch of grass, right near the front stoop. The neighbor always cleans up the mess, but I kind of wish his dog would do its business elsewhere, or at least not consider our grass it's go-to public toilet. We've never really interacted with our neighbor other than to wave on occasion. Other than putting up a small fence—which is becoming a serious option—do you have any recommendations on how to proceed?  --Doggie Doo, Doggie Don't Dear Doggie Doo, Doggie Don’t, I’m sorry, but eww! I mean, yes, the owner can clean up some but certainly not all of the evidence. So, let’…

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Neighbor Mowed My Lawn Without Asking, Sent a Bill

Neighbor Lady takes the high road with a fussy neighbor who trespasses, mows someone's lawn, then sends a bill.

Dear Neighbor Lady, My neighbor is very, very fussy about his lawn. Very. He mows it constantly (it seems) and practically uses a nail clipper to put the finishing touches on it. Well, our family does not do this. But we aren’t slouches, either! We mow normally—maybe once a week. Evidently, this is not enough for Mr. Perfection next door. He has started mowing our lawn when we are not home and—get this—he presents us with a bill for his services! I would like him to cease and desist, though rememeber I have to live next to him for the foreseeable future, so please don’t suggest I call the cops or the lawyers. But, how do I get him to keep off my grass? Tres-mowed Dear Tres-mowed, Every time he aims his mower toward your house, it is as …

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Fight or Flight, From the Neighbor Lady

The Neighbor Lady helps out a woman concerned for her safety.

Dear Neighbor Lady, I have never had much interaction with the couple next door, but recently, the husband (obviously drunk) came lumbering like an animal into my yard when I was gardening and hit on me! Of course, I rebuffed his advances and escorted him politely back to his own property. He has since come to me and apologized for his behavior. I am not normally a woman who gets spooked easily, but I do live alone, so I could imagine some pretty nasty scenarios. Now, I feel uncomfortable being alone in my (front or back) yard if I see that he is outside, too. What do I do? Fenced-in Dear Fenced-in, I’m thinking I’d like to encourage you to take back your own house and property and go about your business without fear. Then again, your not …

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Conflict Over a Car, From the Neighbor Lady

A vehicle drives a wedge between a couple.

Dear Neighbor Lady, My boyfriend is now an attending physician. He would like to purchase a fancy BMW car, as he says, to be able to tote around his colleagues “in style.” I don’t like this idea at all because I think it is a huge waste to spend money on this kind of showiness, or maybe that’s the point! Frankly, I would be embarrassed to be seen in something so pompous! How do I convince him that a wildly expensive car is not necessary to feel good about himself? I mean, who is he trying to impress? Not Impressed At All   Dear Not Impressed, I’m not sure this is a case of convincing that needs to be done. If your boyfriend thinks this car is going to bring him the glory that he deserves, well, you are not going to be able to persuade him …

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Facebook For Newbies, From the Neighbor Lady

A reader is confused by all the showboating and seemingly trivial information populating Facebook these days.

Dear Neighbor Lady, I am puzzled over Facebook. I am a lady in my 60s just starting a new business in Somerville. My daughter talked me into opening a Facebook account to publicize my business when I am ready. I recently received a notice that a young woman wanted to be my Facebook friend. This young lady is a HS student who has been helping me on Sundays for a year and whom I like very, very much. She's smart, mature, realistic, hardworking, and a great human being to boot. I was thrilled since she initiated the "friendship." I immediately went to her page and found a posting to her boyfriend: "X, I love you very much. I had a great time last night and can't wait to see you tonight." So I ask, what makes her think her friends want to read…

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Finding Time in a Busy Schedule for Exercise

A reader without time for a good workout asks the Neighbor Lady for some time management advice.

Dear Neighbor Lady, I am stumped trying to figure out how to fit exercise into my life.  I have all but given up trying because it is all I can do to get to work, take care of my little kids and pay attention to my husband.  You seem to have some good ideas but does this pickle stump even you? No Time for the treadmill -- Dear No Time to Tread, We modern, over-scheduled, over-extended go-getters have gone and gotten ourselves into unhealthy habits. We’ve no time for, but desperately need, all that exercise offers us: rejuvenation, relaxation and stress release. Maybe a year ago, I heard an interview with the New York Times food writer, Mark Bittman. Mr. Bittman had found himself in his annual physical, a little chubby, a little stressed, …

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