Dear Neighbor Lady, My kids have all sizes of screens available to them. They watch big TV screens, small screens on iPhones (that they swipe from my husband and me) and medium screens on obnoxious “learning games” toys given them by my parents and others. Learning? Ya right! More like stultifying and deadening. And how do I keep all this texting in check? Or is that a losing battle? Screened-out Dear Screened-out, Lordy how times have changed. While technology is novel every single day, it is not really a novelty anymore. Screens are everywhere, and I know my kids expect me to fork it over. …
"Dear Neighbor Lady, How do I get my neighbor to remove all the crap from his porch? There's a ripped-up old couch, a rusty dorm-room-sized refrigerator, some beach chairs and children's beach toys from the mid-1990s and some random pieces of lumber. It's like a miniature dump out there. It would be one thing if my neighbor sat on the couch and used all that stuff, but he doesn't. It just sits there. Maybe he doesn't have storage space in the basement, or something, but I kind of don't care. Also, how do I get him to paint his building? Sincerely, Eyes are sore Dear Sore Eyes, You’ve heard …
Dear Neighbor Lady, My ex-boyfriend just moved into an apartment three doors down from my apartment. I saw him moving in at the end of August, but as far as I know he hasn't seen me yet, and I don't think he realizes he moved in next to me. Of all the apartments in Somerville, why did the apartment gods have to move him onto my block? We dated for almost three years, but we haven't been in touch—other than occasionally on Facebook—for over two years. I think we've both "moved on," but it was kind of an emotionally messy breakup. What should I do? I'll run into him one day, and I'm sure it …
Dear Neighbor Lady, My elderly auxiliary policewoman/neighbor isn't speaking to me anymore! She recently had a problem with a home hair dye job that went awry. She let us know why she was wearing bandages on her acid-burned hands in a very embarrassed manner, but wore a head scarf so we didn't see the extent of the problem. However, one day last week, she tried a new cover-up and our three-year-old daughter loudly inquired, "Mom, why does she have on that crazy wig?" We love our neighbor, but she is too embarrassed to answer the door now! What do we do? —What’s a Crazy Wig Between …
Dear Neighbor Lady, A neighbor from a few doors down walks his dog down the street every evening, and at least three or four times a week his dog relieves itself on our front patch of grass, right near the front stoop. The neighbor always cleans up the mess, but I kind of wish his dog would do its business elsewhere, or at least not consider our grass it's go-to public toilet. We've never really interacted with our neighbor other than to wave on occasion. Other than putting up a small fence—which is becoming a serious option—do you have any recommendations on how to proceed? --Doggie Doo, …
Dear Neighbor Lady, My neighbor is very, very fussy about his lawn. Very. He mows it constantly (it seems) and practically uses a nail clipper to put the finishing touches on it. Well, our family does not do this. But we aren’t slouches, either! We mow normally—maybe once a week. Evidently, this is not enough for Mr. Perfection next door. He has started mowing our lawn when we are not home and—get this—he presents us with a bill for his services! I would like him to cease and desist, though rememeber I have to live next to him for the foreseeable future, so please don’t suggest I call the …
Dear Neighbor Lady, I am puzzled over Facebook. I am a lady in my 60s just starting a new business in Somerville. My daughter talked me into opening a Facebook account to publicize my business when I am ready. I recently received a notice that a young woman wanted to be my Facebook friend. This young lady is a HS student who has been helping me on Sundays for a year and whom I like very, very much. She's smart, mature, realistic, hardworking, and a great human being to boot. I was thrilled since she initiated the "friendship." I immediately went to her page and found a posting to her …
Dear Neighbor Lady, I am stumped trying to figure out how to fit exercise into my life. I have all but given up trying because it is all I can do to get to work, take care of my little kids and pay attention to my husband. You seem to have some good ideas but does this pickle stump even you? No Time for the treadmill -- Dear No Time to Tread, We modern, over-scheduled, over-extended go-getters have gone and gotten ourselves into unhealthy habits. We’ve no time for, but desperately need, all that exercise offers us: rejuvenation, relaxation and stress release. Maybe a year ago, I heard an …
Dear Neighbor Lady, My employer recently hired a stay-at-home dad coming out of retirement. As a working mom I appreciate the trade offs between home and work, so I would be more than willing to help him get back into the swing of things. However, he's rubbing me the wrong way... literally. On more than one occasion he has touched my arm or shoulder. It's come to the point that I cringe when he comes to my cube. I don't think he intends it in a sexual way, but I don't see him acting the same way with our mostly male coworkers. I can imagine that it is difficult to jump back into a career and …
Dear Neighbor Lady, My daughter is thirteen and her hair is curly, but mine is not. She has had an acute interest in her appearance for some time now, but I’m afraid she has begun the channel her energies into trying to straighten her hair. The time she spends on it is out of control, and I hate to say it, but her hair looks terrible now. Yes it is straight, but it is frizzy and looks damaged. How do I help her accept the fact that she has curly hair and that it is beautiful as it is? Tangled Up in Teele Square Dear Tangled, Keeping to the straight and narrow is fine for those born that way, …
Dear Neighbor Lady, My neighbor's grass is really high and unkempt. How do I ask him to deal with it? This neighbor is rarely around and I have never met him. Overgrown Dear Overgrown, I think you are going to have to meet this neighbor first and then, at a separate encounter, address the grass. Even one friendly interaction can be the foundation of a neighborly rapport. Otherwise, the neighbor is not going to have any investment in wanting to team up with you about the color of the sky let alone your request to deal with something he has obviously been neglecting for some time. Start looking…
Dear Neighbor Lady, Maybe this question is too mundane for you, but I am hoping you have some suggestions for me. I am a serious, long-term nail biter. Not only is my problem unseemly, it is embarrassing at work. I feel I can’t stop but I simply must! How can I? Mangled in Magoun Square Dear Mangled, There may be other forces at work here besides that of habit. Nail biting can stem from OCB, Obsessive Compulsive Behavior—Obsessive Compulsive Disorder’s new kinder, gentler cousin. The first stop might be your doctor to get his or her take on your problem. It could be that you need a referral …
Dear Neighbor Lady, I am a mom of two small kids who also works 40 hours outside the home. I make it all happen, but I still find I need to do some housework when nobody is around to get in my way. I work for a large university that prides itself on being a "mom-friendly" flexible workplace, yet my boss is not that flexible. I imagine this is because when she was a working mom, things were not that flexible for her! However, everyone else around me is tailoring their work lives to fit their home lives, but I cannot. How do I approach my boss about a schedule better-suited to a working mom…
Dear Neighbor Lady, My son is six and has just encountered his first bully. This bully is eight and says mean things to my son, who is a target, I guess, because he is really short for his age and sensitive to having this pointed out. The bully, let’s call him Bobby, has no mom, and the dad is willing to work with us to help bring the torment to an end. My question is, how do we help my son deal with the strong feelings he has in response to being picked on? And how do we prepare him for the further troubles surely coming his way in the future? I haven’t a clue about what to do let alone how …
Dear Neighbor Lady, In my 20s I was depressed, had no self-esteem and little hope for the future. One day I returned from being hospitalized for major depression to work at my job as a receptionist. Miss Sylvie, one of the older women who worked with me, saw me sitting there, sad and sorry. She pulled some lipstick from her purse, put it on me and said, “You just need a little color, there, love.” I received so many sincere compliments I started to believe I was really worth something. From that day, my self-esteem grew. The better I looked, the better I felt. Today, I am a very successful …
Dear Neighbor Lady, My wife is grumpy and I can’t seem to reach her. I don’t know how we have grown apart like this, but it seems to have happened slowly over the past few years we’ve been married. I’ve tried the romantic route of flowers and chocolate sent to her work “just because.” But the effects of my efforts are very short-lived. What do I do to reconnect with my missus and bring back the happier days of when we were boyfriend and girlfriend? Missing my gal Dear Missing, Your question shows love for your lady and a willingness to work for your mutual happiness. The latter is good news…
Dear Neighbor Lady, I have been friends with someone now for almost 20 years, but lately it seems we are acquaintances who used to be friends. She got married and had a baby first; soon I did as well, but I still made efforts to reach out to her. Unfortunately, it seems that she's always too busy to reach out to me. We seem to have settled into this pattern where we get together only when I initiate the visit. I would drop this friendship like a bad romance except that when we do get together, we have an uproariously great time and it feels like no time has passed at all. What do I do? --BFF…
Dear Neighbor Lady, I am spending a lot of money on lunch out when I’m at work. That’s not good but what’s worse is that my options are limited at the places I frequent. So, although I’d prefer to eat a healthy lunch, I end up with food that’s too rich. There is a big fridge at work, so I can bring my own lunch, but often there aren’t many leftovers from dinner the night before. Any ideas? --Lookin’ for Lunch in All the Wrong Places Dear Lookin’ for Lunch, Bringing your own lunch every day is a great idea and a commitment. You’re in charge of what you’re eating, you’re keeping your budget in …
Dear Neighbor Lady, I really like my neighbor; he's a very busy guy who is almost never home, but when he is, he’s always nice to us… mostly he’s a great and friendly neighbor. My trouble is that he keeps all manner of junk outside his house—old, broken televisions, rug remnants and construction debris are some examples of what he has on display. Since our houses are so close, (squished together as we are here in Somerville), I am irked by it every single day. I mean, it's not that I'm such a super-tidy gal, but I try to have our place look nice. While the ugly rubble is on his property, for …
Dear Neighbor Lady, I’m a thirty-something guy with a wife and a family and friends. My trouble is that I never get to see my friends, and I miss them. I feel that seeing them is important, but it’s almost an insurmountable task to coordinate schedules and find a good time to visit—even when many of us live right here in Somerville. Yet, if I don’t do this, I fear I won’t see anybody ever. --Too busy for our own good Dear Too Busy, Oh, this is a problem indeed. I’m sure you’re not the only lonely one out there longing to reconnect with the over-scheduled friends you love. Yes, family life is …
