Dear Neighbor Lady,

In my 20s I was depressed, had no self-esteem and little hope for the future. One day I returned from being hospitalized for major depression to work at my job as a receptionist. Miss Sylvie, one of the older women who worked with me, saw me sitting there, sad and sorry. She pulled some lipstick from her purse, put it on me and said, “You just need a little color, there, love.” I received so many sincere compliments I started to believe I was really worth something. From that day, my self-esteem grew. The better I looked, the better I felt. Today, I am a very successful and happy woman with a great marriage, great kids and lucrative career. Miss Sylvie has passed away and it bothers me that I never thanked her for her simple kindness that sparked the roaring fire that is my happiness. How do I express these feelings of gratitude to Miss Sylvie now that she is gone?

Thankful in Somerville

 Dear Thankful,

I am sure as Miss Sylvie watched you transform, she felt happy along with you. Seeing you decide to live—thrive even—is all the thanks that she ever needed, if she even stopped to think she wanted some. She probably had not made the leap that her lipstick was all you needed to ignite your self-esteem. 

But you are living proof that the tiniest act of caring can be huge in someone else’s life. I understand your feelings of gratitude are strong and you feel there is something left undone in your life. Well, those feelings are so good they just have to be expressed. 

So, while you can’t reach into the great beyond to pay Miss Sylvie back, you can certainly pay it forward here on Earth where an act of caring can do a whole lot of good.

Search around your life for your Recipient. This is a woman who you think could use a lift, and not just a little lift. The easiest target would be a woman in grief, someone who needs a life-affirming experience. You could also pick someone you know who just gives and gives to others all the time. Surely, the universe is out of whack there. Maybe she needs some of that care coming back to her!

Make sure you present this to your Recipient as a gift; the nearest holiday will do. Tell your Recipient that you and she are going out for a Girls’ Day Treat and that have made an appointment for her to have a personal color analysis. (Google: personal color analysis, Donna Cognac, MA) 

This professional will figure out exactly what palette of colors looks best on your Recipient. The recipient can then use these colors to choose her clothing and makeup. If she is currently wearing colors that wash her out, well, that is how she will feel and that is how others will interact with her. 

But if she is wearing clothing and makeup colors that enhance her complexion, she will come alive, and feel alive, and the people she interacts with will encounter the best of her. 

How will that make her feel? I’m thinking exactly how Miss Sylvie made you feel all those years ago. And how will you feel when you see your Recipient transform? Maybe like you have honored Miss Sylvie and all is right in this world and the next. Amazing what a little lipstick can do. Just make sure it is the right color.